Culture for the Masses

This episode is also known as "Art for Arts Sake" and as "Antiques".

Plot
The Goodies attend Sotheby's spring art auction, and become disgruntled by the apparent loss of English culture and art to cashed up Americans. Tim makes a stand and purchases a Velazquez self portrait for an outrageous amount then tries to donate to the National gallery. The Minister is shocked; no one ever goes to the National gallery anymore, especially the English.

The Goodies then launch a scheme to steal the other paintings from the gallery then claim the insurance money as a way to pay for the Velazquez painting. The scheme backfires when the Minister decides to close the gallery down altogether. They only have one painting, the Velazquez which is far too valuable to exhibit. News comes through announcing the Galley will reopen, but needs paintings.

Graeme realizes the problem is the National Gallery needs to become more interesting. He sets about using the paintings as centerpieces for side show stalls. The scheme works so well the Minister dismisses the boys, leaving them penniless and still owing money on the original painting. In the end Tim fives up and offers to auction everything to cashed up Americans, effectively leaving everything exactly where it was before the Goodies got involved

Quotes

 * Tim: Those aren't art lovers! They're Americans!
 * Tim: The British people demand to see this painting in the National Gallery! Minister for the Arts: Oh don't be screwy! There hasn't been a British person in the National Gallery for years!
 * [Tim is on his high horse, passionately trying to stop a painting by Vilasquith from being bought by foreigners] Tim: We owe it to our country to keep this painting here, as proud Englishmen! Bill: [Backing him up] Englishmen! Tim: And Vilasquith was a proud Englishman! Bill: [Under his breath] He was Spanish. Tim: [Under his breath] Never mind!
 * [the Goodies are admiring a painting of a reclining nude woman] Bill: Who's that? Tim: Renwah. Bill: I thought he was a fella?
 * *Tim (speaking to the Americans): "Too many times you've taken too much from us — London Bridge, the "Queen Mary", Julie Andrews and David Frost — and we're grateful."